Existing in Time


I said to him I hoped he at least enjoyed the race.

He replied, “It’s alright. Been there a year now. Day I got hired was the last day I saw you. ”

“Really?! (Where was I in relation to time?) Time has escaped me and at times excused me. I’m not sure I exist in the same dimension as the rest of humanity. As ephemeral as our encounter so are our lives but memory seems to be permanent.”

He replied, “Have you been reading Jim Morrison books or something?”

I assured him I was not tripping on drugs. In fact I am as sober as a pastor and I had been reading the Bible which to some may seem more out there than Jim Morrison but I proclaim the gospel to be the truth. Perhaps my inability to censor what I say is the result of spending too much time writing and being in my thoughts or too little time in the company of others.

I have not become a recluse I’ll have you know. I was dealing with fear in addition to the pain of being hit by a ton of bricks when my life was turned upside down. My spirit suffered tremendously and I hid in cave that had four white walls, emerging periodically to handle responsibilities I could not avoid and to spend time with those I love.

Pain and fear stops time and is paralyzing. Oh, the endless nights in a single night of prayer. Jesus calmed my spirit and comforted me by my bedside as I lie under my baby blue comforter awaiting sleep. My eyes closed for an eternity of dreams; five hours later, the morning light fell heavily upon my face and I sunk into a deep depression until I became numb. What a vicious cycle it is. Being in a state of numbness is surreal, the world flies by and one escapes time. Does our state of mind determine what dimension we really exist in?


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